Q: How many ice skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw in the bulb, one to hire a hitman on club the other skater on the knee.

Q: How many movie actresses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but you should’ve seen the line outside the producer’s hotel room.

Q: How many porn actresses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it looks like 2 of them are really doing it, but the real answer is actually none. They’re just faking it.

Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he’s done everyone thinks that his last light bulb was much better.

Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going “To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right…”

How many Sannyasins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5001.
One to screw the light bulb in and the other five thousand to celebrate the great occasion.

How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None.
Sitting silently doing nothing, the spring comes and the light bulb screws in by itself.